Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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