Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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