its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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