Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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