Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
