i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I want to be your penis for a week.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
