he puts the penis in happiness.
smell my finger.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
