When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
