listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
