two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
