Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
