i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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