i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
