I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
