Please, let me fuck your mom
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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