There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You took a bar mat shot.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
