that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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