Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
