Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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