i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
