i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
