He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My vagina just clenched in fear
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
