i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
