he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
