When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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