And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
