Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
