these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
