What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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