We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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