That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
