Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
