I cannot find my penis.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
