Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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