Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
