my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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