Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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