woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
