the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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