Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
