I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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