You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
