Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
