Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
