we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
