We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
