what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it glows. i had to have it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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