Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so let's talk penis.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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