he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Randomize
