clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
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