My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
