If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
