So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
