evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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