Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
