i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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