Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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